Fighting Better
How to argue without wrecking things: fair-fight rules, flooding, de-escalation and the patterns that keep fights stuck.
Rules for Fighting Fair: 12 That Actually Work
12 rules for fighting fair, each backed by couples research and paired with what it sounds like out loud. Plus a one-page rules card you can agree on together.
7 min readFighting BetterGottman's Four Horsemen: Signs, Examples and Antidotes
Gottman's Four Horsemen are criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. Real text-message examples of each, the antidotes, and what to say instead.
7 min readFighting BetterHow Often Do Couples Fight? What's Normal (and What Isn't)
How often do couples fight? Studies range from twice a month to every other day, depending on what counts. Here's what's normal, and the signs that matter more.
6 min readFighting BetterEmotional Flooding: Why You Can't Think Mid-Fight
Emotional flooding is your body's alarm system hijacking a fight. How to spot it, what to say to take a break, and what to do in the 20 minutes before going back.
6 min read